Intro to BDSM

by LUXFETISH

“BDSM” is typically used to refer to a variety of kinky play that often includes various forms of pain — that’s always pleasurable to both participants. In BDSM play, there is usually a person that is the “dominant” who is the one that is in control, and a “submissive” that is on the receiving end of the “pain,” which can range from light spanking, tickling to more intense kinds of impact play and the use of different accessories that pinch, squeeze, and beyond.

The world of BDSM includes the use of an assortment of accessories such as cuffs, whips, paddles and ball gags, to explore the pleasure that can be experienced while restrained or through rougher activities. At the center of BDSM is consent and with the use of a safe word (and so many beginners-friendly BDSM gear to choose from), it’s easy for anyone to have fun with BDSM play without fear.

The letters in “BDSM” refer to the different kinds of play that it includes. BD, DS & SM

“BD” stands for bondage and discipline, which complement each other since bondage involves someone being physically restrained and someone that enforces the discipline.

“DS” refers to domination and submission — Within these roles, one partner plays the Dom (or dominate role) who actively controls the sub (submissive role). While this act can include pain or restraint, this fantasy can also be explored through role play, such as boss x secretary, teacher x student, etc. Some can even take this a step further with master x slave play using acts of servitude as a sexual kink.
 
“SM” stands for sadism and masochism, aka sadomasochism. This refers to the act of receiving pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain. Specifically, sadism describes getting sexual pleasure from inflicting pain, and masochism is the sexual gratification from receiving physical pain.

BONDAGE

Bondage play involves the use of restraints to allow a partner to take control. Restraint play can be done with just about anything can you can bind your partner’s wrists and ankles with, such as rope, and other items you might have in your closet such as a necktie or stockings. Bondage play can be even better with the use of products that are specifically designed for this type of play, offering even greater versatility with clips and rings that can be attached to other accessories.

Bondage play can range from mild restraint play with fuzzy handcuffs or silky hand ties to more rigid restraints, however the concept behind it remains the same: the submissive is forced to let go and put pleasure in the hands of their partner, while the dominant indulges in the feeling of knowing that they are in control.

DISCIPLINE

Discipline during BDSM play occurs in response to a submissive not meeting the dominant’s demands. The submissive may decide to defy their dominant in order to be disciplined with a spanking or other kinky form of discipline. Discipline can also be made more difficult to follow such as denying an orgasm — and then punishing the submissive with more stimulation.

DOMINATION

Domination during BDSM play can be expressed in various different forms, however the general motive behind it is to be in control of a submissive’s actions. This can include anything from making someone a servant that worships you ands waits on you hand and foot, doing all of your chores exactly to your liking.

A dominant may also want a more visual experience and will put their submissive in collars, leashes and any other restraint may be necessary for “training.”

SUBMISSION

Submission is to enjoy having someone else in control — it can be both in and out of the bedroom, meaning that some submissives embrace their role as a lifestyle and consent to giving someone else control beyond the encounter. Chastity devices and other constricting rings can be used to remind a submissive of their role throughout the day.

SADISM

Sadism is usually used to refer to the sexual gratification of causing pain onto others; and while it can be misconstrued as having dark or violent fantasies, in the BDSM community it is widely understood that everything is based on consent. Once that has been established, sadists can embrace their desire for complete control.

MASOCHISM

Masochism is on the opposite of the spectrum of sadism — it is feeling sexual gratification from experiencing pain. Thanks to endorphins that are released when pain is experienced, pleasure can come from being spanked, whipped or pinched during sensual moments. This release can lead or orgasms and euphoric feelings and stress relief.

It's all about
SAFETY & AFTERCARE

In order to ensure a safe, comfortable and overall pleasurable experience, it is important to communicate and discuss the boundaries of every partner that’s involved. Establishing a safe word — a word or phrase that can be said in order to stop any activity that is becoming uncomfortable.

During BDSM play it is important to respect each other’s boundaries and never try to force anyone to try anything that goes beyond their limits. When everyone feels safe, then they’ll be able to let go and enjoy the excitement of kinky pleasure!