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Guide to BDSM: Get Familiar With The Terms & Accessories

Guide to BDSM: Get Familiar With The Terms & Accessories

Before you dive into the world of BDSM play, it is important to become familiar with all of the terms and some of the bondage accessories that you will encounter. This glossary of terms is intended to help you navigate through your kinky journey with a quick guide to what you need to know.

 

B

A ball gag is a BDSM accessory that fits in the mouth in order to restrict the wearer (the submissive) from speaking. Ball gags can be used as a form a power play in order to intensify the feeling of submission for the wearer.


Featuring restraint systems that discreetly attach to any size bed, bedroom bondage kits also include additional complementary accessories such as a blindfold, whip, nipple clamps and more to enhance kinky encounters.


By blocking vision, blindfolds can intensify the feeling of touch and other physical sensations. All senses are enhanced when sight is removed, plus it can create a feeling of helplessness that heightens excitement for the wearer.


Providing complete coverage of the face, bondage hoods can be made out of a variety of materials, including leather, cotton, latex or rubber. Bondage hoods are typically used to elevate excitement through anonymity of the wearer.


As an accessory to use for restraining a partner, bondage rope can be tied into firmly gripping knots to secure a partner in a variety of positions. Bondage rope play enthusiasts also experiment with beautiful, unique knot tying as well as suspension.


Perfect for beginners, bondage tape can be used as a restraint all over the body. This affordably priced BDSM accessory is also reusable to allow users to really get the most bang out of their buck. Bondage tape sticks to itself and not the skin for ease of use.


 

C

Similar to a Bondage tape is designed to restrict blood flow to the clitoris in order to enhance the sensation. The real pleasure is felt when there is a release from the constriction, which allows for blood flow again normally.


Whether for puppy play — where one partner takes on the role of that of a dog — or for an enhanced dominant experience, a collar is placed around the neck of the submissive for torture or to test their loyalty. The attached leash offers the ultimate control.


Available in a variety of materials such as leather, metal or soft silk, restraint cuffs can be as restrictive as you are comfortable with. Cuffs can be used to secure wrists and ankles and place a submissive in different kinky positions.


 

F

Used to enhance sensation, a feather tickler provides a sensual sensation that can be used to tease and torture. With its soft and titillating feel, it’s up to the user whether they want to use this intimate accessory to enhance foreplay or sensual torture.


As a version of a whip, a flogger has multiple strands that enhance the sensation of its whack. A flogger also has a handle for the user to hold onto comfortably. Floggers are available in an array of materials, which can affect the way that they feel against the skin.


 

M

Used for exploring sensory deprivation play, masks are often incorporated into bondage play to enhance the senses while exploring the pleasure of pain. Masks are worn over the face; primarily covering the eyes while bondage hoods can be worn to feel more bound.


 

N

Used for nipple play, clamps and suckers come in an array of styles that pinch, squeeze and suck to stimulate this already extremely sensitive part of the body. Nipple clamps come in different styles that apply pressure through different closures that are often adjustable.


 

S

A sex swing is used a harness to support the weight of a partner during sexual intercourse. Sex swing systems sometimes require their own frame or can attach to a door. By lifting and supporting their weight, couples can experience sex in positions that aren’t typically available to them comfortably.


To give a firm spanking, a paddle can be used to deliver a hard whack on the butt with its flat surface that evenly spreads out the sensation. Paddles can be made of different materials, and can be lined with materials such as leather or softer fabric.


 

W

Available in leather, metal, soft silk or other materials, wrist and ankle restraints can have different kinds of closures such as buckles or Velcro, or attach simply by tying. With wrists and ankles restrained, couples can explore dominant and submissive fantasies.

 

 

Rules and practices for BDSM

 

No alcohol or drugs

If you find yourdelf needing drugs or alcohol to get you in the mood, you aren’t ready for BDSM.  It can put others and yourself at risk if you are unable to follow the rules, make decisions, or offer consent. Consider chatting with a therapist or a close friend to wrk around your feelings of BDSM.

 

Playout the scene beforehand

Before you start, you’ll want to go over with your sexual partner what you are comfortable with and what not to do. BDSM can be harmful physically and emotionally if you are not careful. You can start out slow and talk about what will happen first, this can be a significant turn-on before getting into things. You’ll also want to discuss the different roles you may want to play so everyone involved understands completely what’s going on. 

 

Consent is very important

Consent is the most important part of BDSM. Because of the intensity of BDSM, it can leave real physical and emotional harm if you are not careful. You’ll make to make sure that everything that goes on with BDSM is consensual. There may be some negotiation going on back and forth but that’s okay. You’ll want to take to this to figure out what’s okay and what isn’t. 

 

Asking questions properly without killing the mood. 

You can still play the part without killing the mood. Try these simple phrases if you are unsure on how to proceed with your sexual partner. 

  • “Do you like it when I hold you down like that? 
  • “Can I turn you over and touch you from behind? 
  • “You have a beautiful ass, can I span it? 

 

Safewords are a must. 

We have a whole blog about safewords in BDSM. Rather than use the words “no” or “stop” which can kill the mood completely. Try using safewords instead. You can read more about safewords in our blog post. 

 

Aftercare after your BDSM play

Aftercare is an important part of engaging in your BDSM play. This is where you and your partner wind down together after the experience and talk about what happened or cuddle. The aftercare can be different for everyone, but what’s most important is helping each other relax after the wave of endorphins has just rushed through you.


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