What is Findom?
Your tributes mean nothing, and for less than $500 I won’t even acknowledge your existence. But if you DO send me $500, I might let you have the next letter in my email address. Maybe one day you’ll send enough money to get the whole thing. But you’d have to pay more for me to open it.
Who Am I?
Just your friendly neighborhood fin domme!
Fin Domme and Findom
Fin domme, meaning financial dominatrix, is a pecuniary provocateur within the realm of financial domination, where the masochism is getting your bank account broken into shambles, and the sadism is ignoring you into submission.
Said another way, it is widely accepted that men measure their worth in dollars. Income and/or net worth determines self-worth, and having a lot of it gives them power and control. Financial domination, also known as findom, is about giving up some of that control in the form of money. It isn’t transactional. There is no exchange of gifts or services and there is no expectation beyond the actual act of transferring the funds.
What's the difference between Findom and being a Sugar Baby?
Findom isn’t at all like a sugar baby arrangement, although from the outside looking in, it could be seen as such. Sugar daddies/mamas give their sugar babies money, gifts, and even trips in exchange for a relationship. That relationship could be sexual or not and could be as simple as a few dinners or as complicated as a live-in exclusive accommodation. In any case, the basic understanding is that in exchange for money, the sugar baby agrees to spend time with their benefactor.
In a findom setup, the exchange of money from their hand to hers IS the act. Largely comprised of women as the fin dommes and wealthy white men as the fin subs (although there are certainly other groups of people that make up both), receiving money is the obvious draw for the fin domme, but for more reasons than you may think. For some fin dommes, it comes down to women empowerment. Receiving money for no other reason than existing is incredibly powerful and it creates a sense of being in control.
What are Pay Pigs?
Pay pigs, meaning fin sub or financial submissive, get something out of it besides an empty wallet. Some pay pigs think it can be gratifying to see a beautiful woman spending money freely and enjoying her life, knowing that they made it possible for her. Some even express excitement at this idea, not just a rush, but sometimes arousal. An unexpected feeling of relief. Remember that most men who give tribute in findom scenarios are wealthy and powerful. They are the decision-makers, and being allowed to relinquish that control in the form of money can ease overwhelming feelings around pressure or adequacy.
How Does Findom Work?
To understand how this might work, you need to know how findom works. A financial dominatrix creates a following on social media and redirects them to her paid sites. On the paid site, they have the opportunity to be recognized by her… for a price. That price can vary from person to person, or it could be a flat rate. For example, some pay pigs may want to send her money at random. This could be a one-off payment from a regular or someone who just decided to pay a single tribute and move on. Sometimes there are scheduled payments where an agreed upon amount is paid periodically. There are handovers, where the pay pig literally hands over their banking information and the fin domme takes what she wants. This can happen digitally, but it sometimes takes place in person at an agreed-upon cash point – usually an ATM. In extreme cases, the fin domme can blackmail her pay pig into giving her whatever she wants. If the fin sub doesn’t give it over, she may tell a devastating secret, out him as a pay pig, or publicly humiliate him. And that’s the draw.
Are Findom and BDSM the same?
Findom is born of the BDSM community and all the same rules and ideas apply. This means that as harrowing as it may seem to people that are not in the findom scene, the sub has control over how much money they spend and how much access the domme can take. At any moment, the sub can tap out or call a safe word. Part of the BDSM process includes a degree of humiliation as arousal and the excitement that comes from tempting their domme to drain their bank account is a huge part of why they are there.
Becoming a Fin Domme or Pay Slave
The power exchange expressed through sexual practices in BDSM is the same power exchanges expressed through findom – but it is NOT sexual. The same principle of “safe, sane, and consensual” in the BDSM community apply here, meaning that dommes have an ethical responsibility to make sure their pigs are safe, are operating from a mental state that is healthy and aware, and that they are in full agreement with everything happening between them.
So how does one break into the world of financial domination – as either a fin domme or a pay slave? Believe it or not, fin dommes have to put in a LOT of work. First, they have to create their own niche following. This means making TONS of content and being able to note when people want their attention. It means setting up as many apps as necessary for their pigs to pay them tributes or for them to monitor their pay slaves’ accounts. Additionally, it’s not as simple as receiving money and paying bills. Remember that the fin sub’s excitement comes from seeing the money spent so they have to create content around shopping, dining, traveling, personal grooming, and general decadence. There’s also the issue of taxes and financial planning because let’s be honest. Some of the lowest paid fin dommes are bringing in tens of thousands of dollars in gifts and money and the IRS wants their cut.
Making Yourself a Commodity
They also have to follow the law of supply and demand. The more accessible they are, the less people are willing to pay. Considering they are getting paid for acknowledgment, they have to walk a very fine line of how much attention they pay to their niche audience. Some of the more seasoned vets of findom offer online courses as an income stream, and it’s a great way for newbs to learn the game. And of course, as with any business, there’s all the branding and administrative work that is decidedly not sexy, fun, or exciting.
The pay pigs on the other hand just need to find someone they like and send them money. They can keep sending them money or they can switch fin dommes until they find someone they’d like to commit to.
The ultimate takeaway is that findom upsets the traditional dynamics between women and rich men. The money and power are both exchanged. The men get to feel happy that they are able to worship and provide, and the women don’t have to do anything. They don’t owe anyone just because they were sent money which is precisely what genuine gift-giving is.
Get to know some other fetishes:
Katoptronophilia: How to Turn Yourself on from Mirror Play
Kink-a Sutra: Experience Kama Sutra With Bondage BDSM Play
What is a Foot Fetish? And How it Plays Out In The Bedroom